What not to do at a Particle Physics Facility

I’ve always wondered what the rules you can and can’t do at CERN

Wikipedia Article on the LHC

According to the website

This is what you can’t do- I’m sure the real LHC and CERN rules and staff are professional- This is a Satire on the outcome of working with the LHC

The following general safety rules apply in all experimental areas: “http://outreach.web.cern.ch/outreach/visits/safety/”

* Children under 14 years of age may visit the underground areas under certain conditions (please contact Visits Service for details)
* School groups of minors visiting the site must be accompanied by one adult per 12 students.
* No smoking is allowed in any part of the Laboratory.
* The tours may be strenuous for some visitors, particularly for the elderly, pregnant women and the handicapped (e.g. steep stairways).
* Please note that the tour itineraries take you into buildings housing scientific and technical equipment. For safety reasons, high-heeled shoes or open-toed shoes, flip-flops or sandals are not permitted.
* Visitors confined to a wheelchair must give prior warning to the Visits Service.

So I’ve complied my own list of what we can’t do, Being that CERN’s LHC has giant Electromagnets all over the facility

Here is the Areial View of Cern

1. No Jewelry- If you look like this, You can’t work there.

Or this

2. Can’t ride and or Install a Graviton- Doing so will cause you infinite mass

3. Don’t carry loose change

4. No Metal Plates in your head- Or this is the outcome

At Fermilab

And here are their regulations of what you can’t do

The following activities are strictly prohibited on the Fermilab grounds:

The following activities are strictly prohibited on the Fermilab Grounds
Firearms, powerboats, snowmobiles, swimming in ponds, unaccompanied children, camping, speeding, hunting, fireworks, trapping of wildlife, dogs off leash (unless they are in the designated dog training area), picking flowers, off road vehicles, and entering buildings unescorted other than the Lederman Science Center.